Parents who are raising children even though they are no longer involved romantically have to learn how to shift toward working as a parenting team. This isn’t always easy, partly because there might be lingering emotions about the end of the relationship.
Communication between parents can shape how children process a custody arrangement. This means that if you and your ex are co-parenting, you generally have to be willing to put your feelings about each other aside and work together to make decisions that are in the children’s best interest.
Focus on the children
Decisions, including those about parenting time schedules, authority over basic concerns and anything else must generally be based on what the children need. Poor communication can turn even the smallest issue into a major dispute.
Control your tone
Tone matters when you’re dealing with your co-parent. Try to keep messages neutral to reduce the risk of receiving a defense response. Avoid threats, sarcasm, name calling and spamming messages. Direct answers that are unambiguous can help to prevent confusion.
Compromise when necessary
Some communication may involve having to work out changes to a parenting time schedule or to make decisions about the children. It’s highly unlikely that either parent will always get their way, so you and your ex will have to compromise based on what’s best for the children.
Dispute resolution methods
When disputes occur, you and your ex will need to resolve the disputes. In many cases, it’s best to take a step back and calm down before coming back together to speak about the issue. It may be beneficial to have dispute resolution methods outlined in your parenting plan to set expectations.
Your parenting plan serves a guideline that you and your ex will follow for things related to your children. It contains your parenting time schedule, decision making responsibilities and other terms for raising the kids. If you ever need to modify this document, seeking personalized legal guidance is always an option.
